We all have the ability to talk, but how can we have a constructive dialogue within the framework of the coaching manager and client (direct report) session? In a previous segment I discussed the general format of the Coaching Manager and Client (Direct Report) session. The three high level sections are 1) Set Scope 2) Constructive Dialogue and 3) Accountability. If a coach, or coaching manager only has this general flow in mind, it can provide great help in driving a successful session. But to get the full benefit of the three-part format, we need to get to the next level of detail. In the last segment I discussed in detail part one of the three-part format, SET SCOPE. In SET SCOPE we review the session Agenda, took a read of the client to assess the client (direct report) mind set, we established empathy with the client, restated the topic to confirm both coaching manager, and client understood what was to be discussed, and came to agreement on the guard rails of the session, and what desired deliverables will be from the session. Now that we have the SCOPE, the real work begins. And that work to have a CONSTRUCTIVE DIALOGUE.
To have successful CONSTRUCTIVE DIALOGUE we need to consider the goals of the dialogue. Reflecting back to part one, SET SCOPE, we understand that there are specific problems, and goals to discuss. And at the end of the session we want to identify specific steps to take to resolve or minimize these problems, and/or get us closer to satisfying our goals. These are the obvious goals of the dialogue. But there are other, subtler goals that we need to consider as valid:
1) BUILD TRUST: It is primarily the coaching manager’s responsibility to create an environment that facilitates trust. The client (direct report) has responsibility to work with the coaching manager, and needs to be comfortable in taking on some risks. But it is the coaching manager’s responsibility to take the lead in creating a safe environment, where the client feels at ease disclosing their problems, limitations, dreams, and desires. The element of trust is a foundation of the coaching experience, and it is also a goal. When in doubt, work to build trust with the client (the direct report). The sooner trust comes, the quicker you will both have the REAL issues on the table to work through.
2) MANAGE SIDE ISSUES: Once the SCOPE of the session, and the DIALOGUE has been set, it does not mean there will never be side issues that arise. A great coach will not ignore an important side issue. Rather they will acknowledge when these issue come up, and discuss them enough that both coach and client understand clearly what the side issue really is. Once the side issue is clearly stated, a decision needs to be made whether to flag this issue for a future session, or to change gears and make it the new focus of the session. Either option may be the correct one – it all depends on the particular issue, and the circumstances and expectations of the coach and the client. If it is decided to make the new issue a parking lot issue, it is the client’s responsibility to capture this and create a plan to work thought the issue. Identifying side issues is a goal in the sense that we don’t want to gloss over or ignore important issues that may arise.
3) STAY CONSTRUCTIVE: Best practice for a coaching and client dialogue is to keep a positive attitude. An important goal of coaching in general is to motivate the client, or said another way, to accelerate, and sustain client motivation. This guideline needs to be tempered with a sense of compassion, and empathy, as the frustrations of a client (direct report) can be very real, and in fact frustration levels can be higher in highly motivated clients, as their expectations for themselves, and others are higher. One of the most valuable assets the coaching manager can provide their client (the direct report) is to have the patience, and skill to listen. Listening to a client’s problems and frustrations will make the client feel better, and will also give the coaching manager real insights into the client’s issues. After hearing a client’s frustration, or problems, a great coach will ask a good open question, such as; “What positive action can you take today that will eliminate or minimize this problem?” Another good question from the coaching manager might be “If you can visualize the best possible outcome from this situation, what would it look like?” If the coaching manager keeps the dialogue, and tone positive, it will minimize blame of others, and focus on positive steps the client (and occasionally the coaching manger) can take to improve a situation. Emphasis should be on the positive things the client can control, or has ownership in.
4) CONSIDER OBSTACLES: I can’t think of a case where there is a problem to be addressed, or a goal to drive to that does not involve blocks, or obstacles. These obstacles can simply be the time needed to work the problem, or drive toward a goal, or it may be blocks imposed by others, or given processes. Or it may be the obstacle of staying motivated. A coaching manager can add value by asking the client (the direct report) to consider any potential obstacles, or blocks that slow or prevent resolution of a problem, or achievement of a goal. Those obstacles that are determined to be a real potential block can be recapped in the third part of the Coaching manager and client section I call ACCOUNTABILITY.
5) OPEN UP OPTIONS: Once a problem or goal has been clearly stated, and understood by both Coach and Client, the next step is to come up with possible action steps. The client may already have some ideas in mind (they usually do) and a good coach will have the client list the options they have already considered, and make sure the client has recorded these options. Another common technique for a coach to use to open up options for the client is a short brainstorming session. I have used brainstorming many times with clients in the past. It is a powerful tool, as I have found if I take 10 minutes with the client we can come up with 10 to 20 new options on any given problem or goal. Sometimes only half of the options are worth pursuing, but in some sessions I have seen ALL of the options have realistic value! A well spent 10 minutes indeed! These kind of results can motivate, and empower both client and the coach. Brainstorming is a powerful, powerful tool to keep handy. A coach can also provide value by ranking the options in some way. This might be a ranking based on how quickly the options can be implemented, or by effort to implement the option. Or it might be a ranking on how practical an option might be to implement. Any of these types of rankings can have value. The key here is to place some kind of framework on the options, that will make the options more manageable for the client.
6) VALIDATE THE CLIENT: A subtle goal of the DIALOGUE section of the coaching manager and client session is to validate the client. The coaching manager will communicate to the client that they have value, as a direct report, and as a person if they look for opportunities to validate the client. A short comment from the coaching manager like “you have a good persecution into the problem…” or “I like your approach on this…” can go a long way to build confidence of the direct report. A comment like “I can appreciate your frustration on this…” tells the client that the coaching manager understands them, and accepts what they are feeling as valid.
7) CONSIDER FUTURE TOPICS: Once the in scope issues, problems, goals, and obstacles have been discussed in detail there is opportunity to the topics for future sessions. There is a flow to coaching sessions, and there is usually continuity from one session to the next. If time permits it gives additional value to the session to consider what issues have been tackled, and how this may drive future session topics. The coaching can add value just by asking the client the question of what future topics might include. This get the client thinking about overall objectives, and high level goals.
In the second part of the coaching manager and client (direct report) session both coaching manger and direct report have responsibilities. The coaching manager takes the lead by creating a space to foster trust. A skilled coach will also understand how to manage side issues that may arise. It is a shared responsibility to keep the dialogue constructive. The coaching manager adds value by raising the question of any perceived obstacles – the client (direct report) needs to be an active partner in the duologue when the coaching manager brings up questions around obstacles, and developing options for next steps. A great coaching manger will also look for opportunities to validate the client – this builds trust, and confidence. Lastly the coaching manager can enhance continuity between sessions if they recap the dialogue and ask the client how the current dialogue may change or drive topics for future sessions. Of the three parts of the coaching manager and client session, the second part CONSTRUCTIVE DIALOGUE is the most fluid. A great coach will let the dialogue flow, take its course, while providing skillful navigation.
To have successful CONSTRUCTIVE DIALOGUE we need to consider the goals of the dialogue. Reflecting back to part one, SET SCOPE, we understand that there are specific problems, and goals to discuss. And at the end of the session we want to identify specific steps to take to resolve or minimize these problems, and/or get us closer to satisfying our goals. These are the obvious goals of the dialogue. But there are other, subtler goals that we need to consider as valid:
1) BUILD TRUST: It is primarily the coaching manager’s responsibility to create an environment that facilitates trust. The client (direct report) has responsibility to work with the coaching manager, and needs to be comfortable in taking on some risks. But it is the coaching manager’s responsibility to take the lead in creating a safe environment, where the client feels at ease disclosing their problems, limitations, dreams, and desires. The element of trust is a foundation of the coaching experience, and it is also a goal. When in doubt, work to build trust with the client (the direct report). The sooner trust comes, the quicker you will both have the REAL issues on the table to work through.
2) MANAGE SIDE ISSUES: Once the SCOPE of the session, and the DIALOGUE has been set, it does not mean there will never be side issues that arise. A great coach will not ignore an important side issue. Rather they will acknowledge when these issue come up, and discuss them enough that both coach and client understand clearly what the side issue really is. Once the side issue is clearly stated, a decision needs to be made whether to flag this issue for a future session, or to change gears and make it the new focus of the session. Either option may be the correct one – it all depends on the particular issue, and the circumstances and expectations of the coach and the client. If it is decided to make the new issue a parking lot issue, it is the client’s responsibility to capture this and create a plan to work thought the issue. Identifying side issues is a goal in the sense that we don’t want to gloss over or ignore important issues that may arise.
3) STAY CONSTRUCTIVE: Best practice for a coaching and client dialogue is to keep a positive attitude. An important goal of coaching in general is to motivate the client, or said another way, to accelerate, and sustain client motivation. This guideline needs to be tempered with a sense of compassion, and empathy, as the frustrations of a client (direct report) can be very real, and in fact frustration levels can be higher in highly motivated clients, as their expectations for themselves, and others are higher. One of the most valuable assets the coaching manager can provide their client (the direct report) is to have the patience, and skill to listen. Listening to a client’s problems and frustrations will make the client feel better, and will also give the coaching manager real insights into the client’s issues. After hearing a client’s frustration, or problems, a great coach will ask a good open question, such as; “What positive action can you take today that will eliminate or minimize this problem?” Another good question from the coaching manager might be “If you can visualize the best possible outcome from this situation, what would it look like?” If the coaching manager keeps the dialogue, and tone positive, it will minimize blame of others, and focus on positive steps the client (and occasionally the coaching manger) can take to improve a situation. Emphasis should be on the positive things the client can control, or has ownership in.
4) CONSIDER OBSTACLES: I can’t think of a case where there is a problem to be addressed, or a goal to drive to that does not involve blocks, or obstacles. These obstacles can simply be the time needed to work the problem, or drive toward a goal, or it may be blocks imposed by others, or given processes. Or it may be the obstacle of staying motivated. A coaching manager can add value by asking the client (the direct report) to consider any potential obstacles, or blocks that slow or prevent resolution of a problem, or achievement of a goal. Those obstacles that are determined to be a real potential block can be recapped in the third part of the Coaching manager and client section I call ACCOUNTABILITY.
5) OPEN UP OPTIONS: Once a problem or goal has been clearly stated, and understood by both Coach and Client, the next step is to come up with possible action steps. The client may already have some ideas in mind (they usually do) and a good coach will have the client list the options they have already considered, and make sure the client has recorded these options. Another common technique for a coach to use to open up options for the client is a short brainstorming session. I have used brainstorming many times with clients in the past. It is a powerful tool, as I have found if I take 10 minutes with the client we can come up with 10 to 20 new options on any given problem or goal. Sometimes only half of the options are worth pursuing, but in some sessions I have seen ALL of the options have realistic value! A well spent 10 minutes indeed! These kind of results can motivate, and empower both client and the coach. Brainstorming is a powerful, powerful tool to keep handy. A coach can also provide value by ranking the options in some way. This might be a ranking based on how quickly the options can be implemented, or by effort to implement the option. Or it might be a ranking on how practical an option might be to implement. Any of these types of rankings can have value. The key here is to place some kind of framework on the options, that will make the options more manageable for the client.
6) VALIDATE THE CLIENT: A subtle goal of the DIALOGUE section of the coaching manager and client session is to validate the client. The coaching manager will communicate to the client that they have value, as a direct report, and as a person if they look for opportunities to validate the client. A short comment from the coaching manager like “you have a good persecution into the problem…” or “I like your approach on this…” can go a long way to build confidence of the direct report. A comment like “I can appreciate your frustration on this…” tells the client that the coaching manager understands them, and accepts what they are feeling as valid.
7) CONSIDER FUTURE TOPICS: Once the in scope issues, problems, goals, and obstacles have been discussed in detail there is opportunity to the topics for future sessions. There is a flow to coaching sessions, and there is usually continuity from one session to the next. If time permits it gives additional value to the session to consider what issues have been tackled, and how this may drive future session topics. The coaching can add value just by asking the client the question of what future topics might include. This get the client thinking about overall objectives, and high level goals.
In the second part of the coaching manager and client (direct report) session both coaching manger and direct report have responsibilities. The coaching manager takes the lead by creating a space to foster trust. A skilled coach will also understand how to manage side issues that may arise. It is a shared responsibility to keep the dialogue constructive. The coaching manager adds value by raising the question of any perceived obstacles – the client (direct report) needs to be an active partner in the duologue when the coaching manager brings up questions around obstacles, and developing options for next steps. A great coaching manger will also look for opportunities to validate the client – this builds trust, and confidence. Lastly the coaching manager can enhance continuity between sessions if they recap the dialogue and ask the client how the current dialogue may change or drive topics for future sessions. Of the three parts of the coaching manager and client session, the second part CONSTRUCTIVE DIALOGUE is the most fluid. A great coach will let the dialogue flow, take its course, while providing skillful navigation.
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